Let’s All Grow the Fuck Up

Have I ever heard of a fucking comb? (Author’s own dumb selfie.)

From December 1-December 31, I made 72 cents off my writing on Medium. I know, you’re probably swirling in a tempest of jealousy. What can I say? I’m basically what would have happened if Augusten Burroughs wasn’t gay, got into a DeLorean going 88mph, impregnated a Jewish Jane Austen and had me. Also, if they’d gotten married post-tryst and he’d been an uber-feminist, he might have thought enough about bucking trends to become known as…