Mommy; I Have a Stomach Ache: Childhood Anxiety Fondly Remembered

The author, contemplating his next abdominal crisis. Note the sweatsuit (his favorite color).

Poor Mrs. McCabe. They didn’t train school nurses back in the eighties to deal with motherfuckers like me.

Nowadays, elementary school nurses have had their training ratcheted up a few ticks; they’re trained in everything from crisis intervention, suicide prevention, and (you know, because this is America, where the 2nd Amendment is the only one lotsa…