The Only Way to Prevent Firearm Suicide in America
Trigger warning: suicide & satire.
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At long last, after losing thousands and thousands of Americans every year to firearm suicide, after countless hours of toil and study by Ph.D. level suicidologists, after innumerable millions of dollars spent on careful research, after myriad meetings of suicide prevention and gun violence prevention taskforces and workgroups, after careful coalition building with the firearms industry, suicide loss survivors, activists, advocates, clinicians, and other assorted stakeholders, after gallons and gallons of blood spilt from self-inflicted gunshot wounds by individuals who reached the utter limit of their hopelessness, helplessness, and despair and made the decision to end their lives with the most lethal means possible; after all that, at long last, only I — a barely educated suicide awareness advocate who isn’t funded by a university or grantmaking institutions, isn’t a Board Member or even affiliated with some national, state, or local “prevention” organization, and doesn’t even fancy footnotes or endnotes very much — have hit upon the ironclad, cannot fail solution that will forever definitively prevent most, if not all, firearm suicides in America.
No, the answer isn’t Red Flag laws or voluntary, or the temporary surrender of firearms in time of mental health decline…